For Dad

Lord, now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace: according to thy word.

For mine eyes have seen: thy salvation,

Which thou hast prepared: before the face of all people;

To be a light to lighten the Gentiles: and to be the glory of thy people Israel.

A study -  a wall of books

A broken chair

What is left?

Photos on an order of service, a wedding here, another there, with children,  with friends 

the same face

old, young,  broken, smiling in life.  Under all a date of ending

a church packed out.

A notice in the local paper, a few paragraphs in the newsletter.  

A harsh bitter illness that lingered on for 15 years all the days he lived in this house,

Slowly all the liveliness and hope squeezed from him.

The final days - the anguished  “I don’t want to get better”

Eloi Eloi lama sabachthani?

The care pathway changed   

Less and less he woke, till one morning 

removing all that was left to remind him of his weakness ,

he took a tissue from me, so he could wipe his own face

he sang along to the old welsh hymns and songs, a voice reduced to a breath.

He told the nurse he was in pain again

again morphine took to him to sleep, never to wake

Now I am eldest, no wise head to talk to, to ridicule, to love

No one to ring on a Sunday night

No hug at the end of that awful drive

81 summers and winters had come and gone since that November day

Children and grandchildren,

Grief and joy, hope and despair

Triumphs and disappointments

What remains ?

Some dust,  memories , and a hope

Now at this birth season of decease,

Let the Infant, the still unspeaking and unspoken Word,

Grant Israel’s consolation

To one who has eighty years and no to-morrow.

He was heard.

The Nunc Dimittis ,  The Seven last Words from the Cross and TS Elliots Song for Simeon all provided help in putting this together